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as i sip my teh

MANGO'S HAVING A SALE! MANGO'S HAVING A SALE! MANGO'S HAVING A SALE! *runs from wall to wall*

it's news like this that can make your heart skip a beat. but as quick as my eyes lighted up when i heard, my excitement died just as quickly when i realised i might not be able to afford a mini shopping spree after all.

how is it possible that my pay is almost gone without me actually realising it eh? dengan sekelip mata boleh lesap. ok la not lesap. but pretty shocking to see the amount left in my account. tsk tsk.

yesterday evening was nice. awin and i headed to town for our respective 'dates'. i was meeting sop, nifal and jaswant. waaaahhh machiam like double date right? but no it's not. nifal and jaswant are my jantan kabrets. they are included in my harem of guys i can rent out to girls needing escorts HAHAHAHA. i kid i kid.

so i had dinner first with nifal at lucky plaza where we sat with awin and her friend, imran. eh confirm, it is so easy for guys who just got to know each other to break the ice. just talk about ns. waah confirm can become best friends already.

so nifal and i headed to balcony at heeren to meet the other 2. but it was crowded and fucking hot. so we decided to go alley bar instead. very nice place. very nice ambience. we spent the night just talking and reminiscing and laughing. i like.

on the way home a buddy called me with some shattering news of her own. looking at her predicament, i realised my heartbreak and emotional turmoil is nothing compared to hers.

or maybe our battles are all different from each other's but we share the same grief and uncertainties. but nonetheless i can only imagine what she's going thru. i don't know how i'd be able to take it if i were in her shoes. i'd probably crumble right there and then, the moment the first slap (not in the literal sense) was handed out. and then die a slow death, moment by moment, with each subsequent blow to my face.

anyway i'm glad she's better now. and i'm glad she got away from it all with her head held high. for this, leyana ibrahiman I SALUTE!

as for my own drama, i think I THINK i am finally able to let go. i have come to terms with what has happened. i have come to terms with the fact that maybe i'm better off where i am right now. i strongly believe in fate. what is rightfully mine will be mine in time to come. if it's not meant to be then too bad cos i can't claim ownership of it.

(i can sense i'm rambling and talking in circles. let me gather my thoughts first.....)

as i was saying.. yeah i'm making peace with whatever life has dealt me. life gives you lemons make lemonade. sure i still think of the memories we both shared. sure i still miss him. and sure i still wish he didn't change. but... DI BELAKANG SETIAP AWAN ADA GARISAN.. (shit what's silver in malay....)... PERAK! yes yes. ada nikmat di sebalik setiap dugaan. cheybah macam betol je aku ni make up pepatah melayu tau.

as for whether i've learnt my lesson, i can't say for sure. cos your feelings are way beyond your control. there is no way i can get a grip on things when i'm feeling overwhelmed. but we shall see. i believe that my happiness will eventually be found by trial and error. so there wil be many more trials for me to go thru and more errors for me to make. but well... man man lai. slowly does it.

i have been typing this entry for over an hour and somehow i'm still not done... i'll save the rest for another entry.

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