if i were to win an oscar
"OH.. MY.. GOD.... *sniff sniff* i cannot believe this.. well actually i can. i mean, come on i'm great. anyway first of all, to my fellow nominess nicole, julia, hillary and renee.. wow, what can i say. thank you for being so lousy. thank you so much. they say everyone's a winner and there's no loser but seriously who actually believes that. i'm a winner and you guys are losers, let's admit it.
next, to my family for being so wonderful and for being my rock. to my friends for being so wonderful and for being my rock. to my fans for being so wonderful and for being my rock. you rock.
i would've thanked the director, the producer and the crew who worked on the movie with me but let's face it, i'm the star, you're not, the movie made money because of me and i won because of my exceptional talent and not because of your assistance and support so you guys can buzz off.
last but not least, to my no.1 fan.. myself. i love me more than life itself. i'm the apple of my eye and my goddess. people love me and it's not hard to see why. even before the nose fix and implants and liposuction we all know i'm beautiful already. come on, i'm the biggest star ON THE PLANET Y'ALL!! ... right, thank you my good people. stay away from drugs. except for coke. coke rocks. in fact i'm on it right now.... ouch, stop dragging me! let me goooo.......! dont u dare do this to the best actress... dont you fucking dare............!"
ahh. to be overly-paid and to have an overly-fed ego.
