in the mood for musing
sitting in this freezing arctic icebox i call the office, i have a sudden longing to go back to aloha. and spend the afternoon cycling along the whole stretch of pasir ris beach. i love how far removed i am from real world when i was there. it's so 'di hujung tanjung' that i felt very serenely secluded. and the fact that the bungalow is sprawling huge helps a lot. macam dunia aku sorang yang punye. nice. real nice.
for once i want to feel very detached from everything. sure, i've counted my blessings and i'm indeed very contented. family, friends, job (temporary also still money mah), and health. but sometimes i'd like to feel nothingness. not the depressing kind of nothingness. the calming kind. the go-to-faraway-beach-and-lie-all-day kind. i don't think i've been on any vacation where i didn't worry at all. there was always something to mull over. something to worry about back home. but now i'm thinking if you're on vacation and doing nothing then of course you'll have lots of time to think about stuff kan.
see that's the thing. you just HAVE to worry. you just have to analyse, brood, muse and ponder. is it possible to be totally disconnected from reality and just let everything that hit you wash over you, trickle down onto the floor, eventually turning into a puddle. you step on it and then walk away and that's it. finito.
i'm so free and i'm cold and i want my bicycle.
