Thursday, June 30, 2005

how terry got her groove back

[ earbuzz: constant craving - kd lang ]

have you heard. terry mcmillan, who wrote 'how stella got her groove back' which is loosely based on her life, is divorced from her husband cos he's GAY?? i dont whether to laugh or be sorry.

think about it. she was so enthralled with her love story that she decided to make it into a book only to find out that the marriage is a sham. but in all fairness the guy did say he realised he was homo after they got married.

i like that movie cos the world was introduced to a fine male specimen called taye diggs. mmm.

slipknot is coming to town. i wonder if the guys know. especially pal. PAL IF YOU CAN READ THIS FROM THE LOVELY HOLIDAY ISLAND OF TEKONG, DO YOU KNOW THAT SLIPKNOT IS HAVING A GIG SOON??

i want the goo goo dolls live in buffalo dvd. or better yet, i want them to have a gig here. then i can finally meet john rzeznik and propose to him. oh yeah.

the drugs don't work at at 2:19 PM |

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

farewell

[ earbuzz : maps - the yeah yeah yeahs ]

sometimes in life, you gotta be a little mean to get what you want. what you crave. in my case i craved closure. i've done what i had to do. if he still doesnt get it.. well i can only say get over it.

so that's it. i'm done talking about you in my blog. i shall not give you the pleasure of being smug and thinking you must matter so much to me that i dedicated 2 entries to you. you are not a part of my life, never have been and never will be. whether you like it or not. so long, farewell.

mick jagger sang you can't always get what you want. i think he had you in mind.

the drugs don't work at at 3:01 PM |

Sunday, June 26, 2005

dont push me

[ earbuzz : across the universe - the beatles]

i hate it when people misunderstand me. but in this case maybe it's not a misunderstanding. maybe he misheard. it better be misheard. cos if it isnt he's just spreading malicious and untrue tales about me. triggered by the fact that i rejected his advances and an ego that just refuses to be taken down a peg or two.

i dont like slaps, dont like being slapped, dont like anyone else slapping one another therefore it's highly unlikely that i will do the same to others. and i wont even threaten you with it. but take note, if you push me enough, maybe i will.

it's been years since the incident and i cant believe he's still lingering around. hanging around on the outer edges of my life.

so i sent him a message in friendster asking him to explain himself. for i am an angry person when agitated and i demand some answers.

i'm hoping this is not a big deal as i make it out to be. i hate drama.

p.s. i heard a certain someone say something like 'jangan terbang tinggi-tinggi, nanti jatuh rabak' or some sort like that, assuming that i have high expectations for a guy. you dont know me, dont know what i'm like, dont know my life story so far. thus dont give me all these widsom cos you have no idea what i'm all about.

the drugs don't work at at 6:46 PM |

Saturday, June 25, 2005

dressed and restless

[ earbuzz : a message - coldplay ]

i'm all dressed up and nowhere to go.

not really. more like all dressed up and waiting to be mobilized. D dear, if you're reading this and we're late for the bbq, you will know i have no part in the delay. i'm dressed, hair's been gelled and sprayed, legs have been shaved, makeup's been slapped on.. i'm just waiting to be presented to my adoring public.

my brother's in the next room, preparing to leave tonight for tunisia. and maybe turkey, he said. he said it as though he's going muar and probably stopping at batu pahat. no eh. GOING TUNISIA, AND MAYBE STOP BY TURKEY. orang banyak duit je bleh cakap macam gini. banyak duit and probably doesnt know what to do with it, besides buying a freakin condo unit and endless vacations in countries like tunisia, turkey, mexico, france..

but, i have to admit he does work hard for his money. all he needs is a wife. and all i need to do is engineer a plan where he will accidentally bump into siti nurhaliza and then they will fall head over bloody heels in love with each other and then marry and then i can say SITI NURHALIZA KAKAK IPAR AKU SEH KORANG2 SEMUA JANGAN MARAH KALAU MARAH NANTI KENA JUAL. then i will teach her all the vulgar and swear words that i know. so no more kampung-sopan-santun-santan CT eh sila. ni siti nurhaliza urban version. so that she'll be tougher and can personally engage in verbal mudslinging and war of filthy words with those who slander and defame her.

so best kan.

the drugs don't work at at 5:50 PM |

Thursday, June 23, 2005

mad madden

[ earbuzz : fast car - tracy chapman ]

spotted in today's new paper, joel madden of good charlotte commenting on his girlfriend hilary duff:
"obviously we have different styles, but i think she's a great singer and i like her voice."

ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME MADDEN?!? is this what love has done to you? destroyed your sense of hearing?

the drugs don't work at at 2:58 PM |

that ting in my dream

[ earbuzz : dinda dimana - katon bagaskara ]

very weird dream last night. i was back in crescent, in the classroom waiting for the teacher. and guess who walked into the room? MISS TING! miss claudia ting. but that's not the weird part. she walked in, wearing all pink and get this, wearing a pink tudung! HUH? and then i cant remember the rest of the dream.

i miss ms ting. eh ley you guys were damn lucky to have her as form teacher. she's a hoot.

i wanna watch the bravery gig in august.

oh wait i remember another dream last night. i was clipping this hardened part of my skin on my toe. and then this massive amount of pus came out. i think i dreamt that because of that part in csi, when dr robbins pressed the guy's eyeball and that big glob of black thingie oozed out. eiiyer.

and let me just say that greg gets hotter everytime i see him. when he walked into the house in the suit and sporting sunglasses.... sedappp. and i think nick's hot too. in a very masculine, macho way. so jantan you know. damn the csi guys are hot. even grissom sometimes. even tho for grissom, it's more of like an intellectual, kooky kind of hot. warrick, greg and nick are just sizzling hot. yeah. warrick, of course, is the hottest. need i say it again.

warrick brown / gary dourdan is hawt y'all.

the drugs don't work at at 11:19 AM |

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

(wed)locked in

[ earbuzz : you're beautiful - james blunt]

aye. you know or not, that when a child is born out of wedlock and doesnt matter if the parents get married or not, the child is still anak luar nikah? the common perception is, the term 'anak luar nikah' will be gone if the mum marries the dad right? so not true. why? because the child is conceived before marriage. so in the eyes of Islam, that child is still 'anak luar nikah'. even if the biological mum marries the biological father, he would be known as the 'stepfather'. get it? Islam does not acknowledge illegitimate children. sad right.

learnt all this during the syarahan on saturday night.

so, under Islamic rules, since that father is known as 'stepfather' to the child, they can marry. because, an illegitimate child does not have any associations with the father's bloodline. only the mum's. eye opener kan?

it makes you wonder, how many illegitimate children born to supposedly muslim couples are walking around in singapore now. parents oblivious to their religious obligations. forcing the children to be victims of their own blatant ignorance and making the children outcasts. it's sad when couples are shunning religious principles. it's sadder when the product of their unwedded coupling also bears the brunt of society's hostility and animosity. but it's much sadder when they know all these and still choose to ignore.

somehow maybe i think they dont know all these. maybe they think it's alright cos their western counterparts think it's alright. having a family unit without a wedding certificate. brilliant life huh?

in no way am i a preacher or a religious martyr. but i do know what's right and what's wrong.. wait, forget right and wrong. cos sometimes it just boils down to common sense.

been having right-sided migraines every morning these last few weeks. it's not unbearable. but it's there everyday between 9 and 11 am. maybe kamal's right. i think about things way too much. another evidence to support the claim 'thinking hurts'. or i'm just not used to it.

the drugs don't work at at 2:45 PM |

Saturday, June 18, 2005

swing it

[ earbuzz : dia - sheila majid ]

i'm really, really fine. moment's over. let's all move on shall we. it's too beautiful a saturday to be all depressed. sun's shining, i'm no longer whining. it's all good.

where have all the swings in singapore gone? where's the fun in going to the playground nowadays. all you see are colourful rubber mats and the obligatory slides, plastic horses or dinosaurs coiled to the ground and some kind of pole for kids to slide down.

i demand more swings. if we really cant fly, at least let us all come close to imagining it.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

the drugs don't work at at 6:04 PM |

Friday, June 17, 2005

when the gloom of night descends

[ earbuzz : everytime you go away - brian mcknight ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

i've missed ya babe. awesome awesome time yesterday. see you at bugis market next ok.

got home. showered. on the bed, reading 'sideways'. and then, inexplicably my vision blurred. first the tears were just there, not quite flowing. then they came gushing out. in torrents.

seems like everybody has somebody. i'm glad things worked themselves out in relationships. i'm thrilled. everybody's where they should be. or who they should be with. but now what happens?

i'm not needed anymore, that's what happens. nobody needs me around anymore. when the other half beckons, i'm left lying on the wayside all by myself. i'm always on the outside looking in. always the outsider, wanting to be a part of what everybody else is doing. wanting to taste a bit of what a relationship has to offer. but always too scared to risk it. to give everything away.

i had a funny vision. a funny metaphor for the very un-funny situation i'm in. if the world was made up of vegetables instead of humans, everyone else would be the broccolis and cauliflowers and green pepper and everything else enriching. i would be the wilting taugeh that nobody wants. i swear that's how i felt last night.

i'm kidding myself to think that i wouldnt have these feelings again. i guess these thoughts have always been there, just swimming underneath the surface. some nights they appear more resoundingly, triggering the tears and disillusionment.

i dont wish to talk about this anymore so dont ask if you see me. dont call me asking what this is all about.

i'm fine. i'm always fine.

the drugs don't work at at 3:44 PM |

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

to the northern state and back

[ earbuzz : yang kumau - krisdayanti ]

if this entry sounds a tad too rambling-ish and menyenyeh and menceceh.. terribly sorry.

so on friday, the day of my 22nd birthday, went to get a haircut and of course had it flat-ironed. why doesnt it look the same when i do it myself. not as glossy, not as sleek. later in the evening went for dinner with awin at breeks, with richard. wtf right. jila was of course late and she didnt want to eat anyway so awin and i ended up having dinner with jila's boyfriend. so salah. met up with her halfway outside taka and then yes, camwhoring all the way. from the fountain outside taka to the benches to starbucks ob and then in yan's car too. he sent all of us home later. so, as i've experienced many times before, eli's still the lonely single one that night. what a way to end my birthday. it hurts yeah but fuck it. gotten used to it. for 22 years. what difference does another night alone make.

in the car, as you might have read in awin's blog, three of us were chaotic all the way. destiny's child and black eyed peas blasting in full volume. amidst all the chaos, i dont know why, i felt a tiny pang of emptiness. have no idea what that was about. oh by the way destiny's child is splitting up officially. heard on the radio this morning.

anyways early saturday morning was the start of a 2-day trip to seremban and batu pahat with the clan for 2 weddings. man i had a sore bum and cramps in my legs. but i've always enjoyed every single family trip that we've had. this was no different. 3 cars altogether. we arrived in seremban at around 1230 pm. tun jaafar golf and resort country club something something. i thought maner punye posh la ini country club. skali right, i realised the banquet hall was actually a badminton hall. it didnt have its own function room or something. but it was ok la. everything was okay. the dj just had to mention our arrival as though us singaporeans coming were a big deal. i was very close to standing up and waving and blowing kisses.

we caught up with all our malaysian relatives, those i've not seen in ages. i got the 'da besar panjang si eli ni' remark here and there. of course la da besar. i dont have stunted growth right.

we made our way back down south to batu pahat for the other wedding. reached there 4ish. we were the last guests. they were already cleaning up the house compound and had to take out the dishes again to serve us. kesian. alah, not everyday orang singapore datang tau.

then we spent the night at my favourite malaysian house: mak itam's house! i love that house. mak itam is a relative of my mum's. whenever we're in batu pahat we spend the night there. mind you, the house doesnt have any waterheater. and to get to the bathroom you have to climb down some stairs okay and it's pretty big. i think because of the high ceiling la. having a shower there is always refreshing. especially because the weather's been a bitch lately. so the un-heated water was a welcome respite.

didnt do much shopping there. we did go to batu pahat's only mall. the summit. my er-jie bought some dvds. cant remember what they were. i bought colourful polka-fotted underwear. 3 for 9.90 ringgit. so nice. wearing it now. so comfy. and i bought some other unimportant stuff like nivea deodorant. hurhur. and panadol menstrual pills which cost much cheaper there at 5 ringgit! such a steal right. and i finally bought SEPET the movie and i've watched it twice and it's fab la seh and it's going into my list of favourite movies. such a charming movie. so funny.

headed back to singapore the next afternoon. not before spending some time in angsana mall in jb. and i bought sheila on 7's new album!! their greatest hits plus a vcd of their story and some of their videos. i very love.

reached home 4ish. exhausted, sweaty but satisfied it was a good family trip. let's drive down to kl next la family, amacam! meh jom. bring on the butt and leg cramps and endless pee stopovers!

my period came today. finally after such a long delay. bringing along painful cramps and backaches. kordel's evening primrose oil pills dont work la nabei. knn. maybe that's why it was cheap. stupid sinseh shop. i wonder if i should try another brand or just conclude that nothing will bring relief to my cramps unless i go to doctor yeo's and ask for some dhacopan pills again. i still have a few left from my last visit and took one just now but it didnt seem to work. dhacopan expired tak?

the drugs don't work at at 6:32 PM |

Monday, June 13, 2005

thank you

THANK YOU ALL for the birthday wishes! i had a fab weekend. just dropping in here. will be back later to update. *eli feeling-feeling does the queen elizabeth wave*

the drugs don't work at at 11:37 AM |

Thursday, June 09, 2005

waiting to ride the crimson wave

[ earbuzz : elok - padi ]

why, why do you play games with me? why cant you just show yourself now. let me have all the pain and suffering now, rather than the next 2, 3 days. when i have many plans to be out and about.

i swear, when you expect your menses to come on time, they rarely do. and when it finally ceremoniously arrives, the pain is the worst. it's like, the pain has been saved up and accumulated and it's unleashed finally. just be here already dammit! nabei.

come to think of it, my period's never been regular. why ah. what's wrong with my blood. my cycle has always been like between 21-25, 26 days. never fixed. i thought it's supposed to be regular after the first few years of puberty hit you right? OH I KNOW! i'm still an adolescent la that means. ya ya correct.

ok ok i have heard the next best indonesian r&b singer after glenn fredly and marcell. his name is ello. and the weird thing is, he sounds almost exactly like glenn. almost. check out 'pergi untuk kembali'. he also sang a duet with glenn on 'kau', which was done by glenn originally. sounds different tho. AND AND i've heard the new song by sheila on 7 'bertahan di sana'. nice la sunds. it sounds distinctly sheilaon7-ish. i cannot imagine the song performed by anyone else. AND AND i've also heard the new song by padi 'menanti sebuah jawaban'. damn nice too. also very distinctly padi-ish. see that's the thing about indon artistes. each of them doesnt sound like anyone else. even if they're in the same genre. if it's peterpan, you know how they sound like. very different from so7 and padi. and agnes monica doesnt sound like dewi sandra, does she?

you see malaysia. so many siti nurhaliza clones. so many! but so tak jadik can. i dont even really like misha omar. strange thing is, i've never seen anyone try to clone sheila majid, malaysia's reigning queen of jazz. why huh. jazz music's very 'atas' is it. too classy and too difficult to emulate. but seriously so many siti clones! senang2 nak jadik siti. her love is not on paper ok. her love is the same vibrations (cintaku bukan di atas kertas, cintaku getaran yang sama). hur.

i'm starving. have i told you that i'l always hungry nowadays. even after a meal. macam like fuck kan. and my hunger pangs are especially strong during the 5-7 pm period. i tried drinking water, cos i heard that may help in satisfying my stomach. but hell no. the stomach wants food. i can almost heard my tummy chanting 'WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD! JUNK! JUNK!' and also right, i'm craving for chocolate cake. was thinking of sara lee's one and then eating it with the chocolate syrup we have in the fridge.... can you have imaginary cakeorgasm? i think can.

ok i'm out of words. support indon music ok. and goo goo dolls. and coldplay. and john mayer. and damien rice. ok la and siti nurhaliza. and jesse mccartney. is it weird that i like his song 'she's no you'? so salah right. ok scrap jesse-my-voice-is-high-pitched-mccartney. he looks and sounds like aaron carter, my former supposed brother-in-law. gaah.

and is it weird that girls have been sending me messages in frienster wanting to be friends and then adding me in msn? SCARY THE MARY LA SIA. girls leh, girls! why would GIRLS want to be friends with you seh. unless they've seen or talked to you somewhere before. which in this case they dont. but harmless la right? maybe they have hot brothers.

so how did you know (insert hot brother's name)?
oh thru his sister
you're friends with the sister?
oh no la. she just added me in friendster.
why leh why? you know her meh?
how i know sia. maybe because i'm pretty la. or maybe because i like to lie.
she wants to be friends with you cos you're pretty? you not straight ha? you from crescent right?
so? from crescent that means not straight meh? nabei la you.

wasnt i supposed to be out of words dammit. ok i'm out. support indon music. and goo goo dolls. and coldplay. and john mayer. and damien rice. ok la and siti nurhaliza. and jesse mccartney.....

the drugs don't work at at 3:01 PM |

Monday, June 06, 2005

6-day backtrack

[ earbuzz : angel - the corrs ]

for the past 6 days..

i've watched madagascar with amirul. i went to coffee club in town with the queens and enjoyed a splendid time. the chocolate truffle was splendid too. i went syarahan at the mosque. i played netball. i went taman warisan with my family and watched taufik live. again. for the 4th time. (ramli sarip was super awesome by the way)

you would think i had so much to blog about. but no, i wasnt in the mood. blogging seemed like such hard work somehow. always obliging to update once you get started.

i'll be back when i feel like it. which shouldnt be too far off in the future.

the drugs don't work at at 11:32 AM |

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